Addiction

We, as humans, all have flaws and addictions.  My addiction happens to be food.  For others its smoking, drinking, shopping, gambling, Facebook.  If you want to quit any of those things, you can live your whole life and with a lot of fight, grit, strength, prayer and determination and never do them again. 

Unfortunately with food, you have to eat.  It's like telling an addict you must have a little to survive each day but not too much everday.  It's really hard to control something you have to consume daily to survive.  It makes it weird and different than other addictions.  Such is life.

Frustrated

I'm a little frustrated, pissed really.  Do you ever just get cranky that you're not naturally skinny? you have to fight to lose every single ounce? That it's always such an epic battle?  That's how I feel today. I feel fat and frumpy and defeated.  I feel like all my calorie counting and working soooooooo hard to make good choice is for nothing.  A big fat nothing.  I've gained weight and I'm running more, I've started lifting weights and I'm changing the way I eat.  I actually have thoughts like "If you eat that you won't feel good about your choice so just leave it alone" PRIOR to eating it rather than eating it and regretting it.  Is it too much to ask to even maintain? Let alone throw me a few ounces of loss? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I'm done whining now.  I will keep plugging away.  I will keep reading blogs for inspiration. The ones I love to follow are:

Minus One Hundred http://www.minusonehundred.com/
Does This Scale Make Me Look Fat? http://www.doesthisscalemakemelookfat.blogspot.com/
Run This Weigh http://www.runthisweigh.blogspot.com/
111 Pounds http://www.111pounds.com/
Lealah on a Mission http://www.epitomedemoi.blogspot.com/

Happy tightee whitee Fridee!

Goals

One of the things I've noticed while reading other blogs of individuals who have lost and kept off weight or are in the process make a workout schedule/goal and work on it.  So that's what I shall do. 

It's Father's Day and I have the best daddy in the world and the best husband in the world.  I'm a lucky girl.

The middle children are visiting their father for a week and it's so quiet around here with just the 3 of us.  I didn't hardly do a thing today.  I did run.  It felt so good. 

I've been looking at Garmin running watches (I know that's not their real names but that's what I'm calling them) and FitBits.  The Garmins seem to be what all the "real" runners use but they're so darn expensive that I would have to wait FOR-EV-ER to get one plus it appears that it wouldn't track my calorie burning when I'm doing Group Power which is my weight lifting class.  The class is HARD and I earn every last calorie in there. I swear we do a million squats and lunges!  I love it, I feel strong and I know it's good for me.  But I want to know how many calories I'm using.  The FitBit is less expensive, more realistic right now, looks easier for me to use and counts my calories when I'm doing something other than running/walking/hiking.  I'm still pondering...

Baseball is over.  Volleyball is over.  The summer is here. 

Kind of a disjointed post but I'm tired and my thoughts are random right now.

Who would've thought?

Who would've thought the time committment to blog? I didn't realize it.  I have such a busy life but I didn't think twice thinking I could squeeze another thing in.  Turns out you bloggers put in a lot more time and effort than I ever gave you credit for...

Nonetheless, it's been of course a busy two weeks.  Volleyball games, baseball games, not to mention the corresponding practices and buying a house. And finding new childcare. Oh and work and a baby too.  The good news is that the kids are happy and healthy.  The boys had their last day of school yesterday and are now proud 3rd and 4th graders.  The girls' last day of school is today and will be 7th and 8th graders.  I'm really proud of them.  They all have their own struggles with school and fight through it. 

Even though I haven't blogged doesn't mean I haven't been reading the ones I've started following.  It's just a few because I just don't have the time.  I LOVE READING THEM!  I look forward to each new post.  It's motivational and inspiring and I've learned a lot.  What I've learned is this:

1. Losing weight is hard work and you have to take it moment by moment.
2. Don't quit.
3. Weigh and track everything.  In my reading, they weigh and track everything!!!
4. Don't give up.
5. Most of them have a workout schedule they follow and a goal of running so many miles per week or month,
6. Don't ever quit.
7. Most use Garmins or Fitbits to track their calories burned as well as distance/speed, etc when running.
8. Don't ever give up.
9. They have binges or splurges and get over it and get back to business.
10. Don't quit.
11. See #1.

I've been working hard at tracking my calories, except for I was horrible this weekend and had to get back on the bandwagon this week.  Luckily, some coworkers are doing the same thing so we can encourage eachother. 

My sis and I went to our first Group Power class yesterday.  It's like a weight lifting class or circuit training.  It was hard and I hurt today.  Which means I worked hard.  It hurt to lift my arms to wash my hair.  So I must have worked something hard.  My butt hurts too from about a million and eight lunges and squats.  Or it might have been a million and nine.  I can't remember :)