Moving, moving, more moving...

We've bought a home and have been moving for the last week. While I'm very thankful to have a larger home, the move is KILLING ME!!  Moving 7 people plus a home based business is exhausting. We are not finished unpacking or arranging or cleaning out the old house. But we're getting there. We have decided we won't move for 30 years so we'll be old and the kids will have to help us :)

I haven't worked out in the mornings for a week. I have been walking on my breaks and at lunch. I miss running.

Soooooooo, my goals for this next 7 days are:

1.  Run in the morning Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday and Monday.

2.  I will track ALL my food.

3.  I will continue to unpack, one box at a time.

Sidebar...my husband's birthday is tomorrow. I'm so thankful for him. He's been working so hard during moving and I appreciate him soooooooo much!

I promise! Day 2

I did make it to the gym this morning and it felt sooooo good both physically and mentally. And I solemnly vow to go tomorrow, I'm counting on you to hold me to it!

Best day today,  got to see one of my oldest, dearest friends and her family tonight. Last time we saw eachother was 11 years ago. It was fabulous!!

I promise!

I'm running tomorrow morning, I'm counting on y'all to keep me honest and on track! I will check in tomorrow...g'nite...

Family Reunion

We headed out of town today for my family reunion. I'm excited to see my cousins and aunts and uncles. What I'm worried about is staying on my plan with food. I've made such progress I really don't want to fall off the wagon. I feel nervous and afraid. Afraid that if I fall off I will never get back on track.

However I did bring my own snacks and my running shoes. I asked my husband for some time tomorrow morning early to go run.

Rumor is we're having brisket tonight. If I can have that and salad them I'm a happy girl.

Have a great night :)

Ready to Run

I'm running tomorrow. Hold me to it!! Even though we have a 7am meeting. I'm getting up at 5am and going straight to the gym.

I will check in tomorrow to let you know I went :)

Go get some sleep and some snuggles! Goodnight!!

One last thing...

Look what I did!! I know its blurry but I was sooooo excited and proud of what I had done!

Just Keep Swimming

I feel so good, so empowered, so invincible. I've lost 16 lbs. I'm now able to run 30 minutes WITHOUT STOPPING!!!  Never thought I could do that.

I've gotten the Blogger app so I can write from my phone. Everytime I pull out the laptop, Josie, the 20 month old, thinks its time for her to watch puppy dog videos on YouTube.

I've been reading my blogs that I love and that I also learn so much from. One thing I've learned is to schedule my workouts. So this week I will run Sunday (already completed), Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Friday we leave for Klamath Falls fory family reunion. I can't wait to see my family and get my redneck on. And show off my weight loss :)

Have a great night and Monday!

Mwah!

The Crazy Gizmos

One of the things I struggle with is finding the time to blog.  I want to do this.  I want to help others.  I also want to use it for my own accountability.  I have a really hard time finding time for it since I have a cherub of a 20 month old who thinks that any time I am on the computer, it's for her own enjoyment, ie: to watch videos of puppies playing on YouTube. Crazy lil girl!

I downloaded a Blogger app for my phone which I'm excited to be able to use.  For whatever reason, the baby will let me fuss with my phone but not the laptop.  This way I can update from the couch, on a break at work, etc. 

So, I'm continuing to work hard on my choices, as in making healthy choices in both food, drinking my water and exercise.  I'm working through goal setting right now.  For a nerdy girl like me, it's a really interesting process.  I have goals: as a mom, as a wife and as an individual.  Then as an individual, I have goals about drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, food choices and exercise.  The first step was to create a visualization of what I want.

For me, I want a healthy body.  To me, I picture myself, trim, strong, muscles toned, running down the side of the road.  I can even picture what kind of shorts, tank top and shoes I'm wearing.  I stay focused on that when someone brings cookies to the office or when I'm at a restaurant choosing between a salad or fries. 

The next step is to define the goals, definable goals, and work on the steps to getting there.  That's what I'm working on right now.  One of my definable goals is to increase both my speed and my endurance running.  I'm working on a workout schedule to hold myself accountable that both works how fast and how long I will run.  Is it nerdy that I'm excited about a calendar?

So.... I am running tomorrow.  I have to get up at 5am to do it.  You have my permission to ask me if I did it and if not, beat me with a wet noodle :) 

Have a great night!

Checkin in

I promise I didn't give blogging up.  Like I said in another post, it's definitely a commitment.  I have my blogs that I follow and I respect the time and energy and commitment they put towards it.  That being said, it's been a wild couple of weeks, both schedule wise and emotional wise. Without getting into the nitty gritty details which would take toooooooooo long, I'm looking forward to happier times. 

Food wise I've been right on the money with one exception.  Those d@#$ bites, licks and tastes.  They're going to be the death of me.  I'm really trying to be creative to see what is at the core of that.  Is it habit? How do I get myself out of the situations where I do that to avoid them all together?  It's always at night and with the kids.  It's serving dinner.  It's serving snacks.  So clearly I need to not do those things but I'm the mom, that's what I do.  But I think I'm going to have a talk with the kids and just ask for their help and then I can avoid some of it. 

Exercise had to be put on hold for 3 weeks but now I can again (long story).  John and I went golfing for the first time yesterday.  That game makes me angry.  In my head the dumb little ball goes where it's supposed to but in real life it doesn't.  Grrrrrr.  I'm excited I get to get back to my running.  I've missed it so much.

But I have lost a total of 13 lbs since I started this AND 10 1/2 inches.  Which makes me SMILE!!! 

I just keep thinking, this is working and I'm so happy.  My clothes are looser and now that I can run again I'm going to be on top of the world!  I love the feeling I get from running, I feel invincible and who doesn't want to feel like that? Gotta go, gotta get ready for the day!  Have a great Mondee!

Addiction

We, as humans, all have flaws and addictions.  My addiction happens to be food.  For others its smoking, drinking, shopping, gambling, Facebook.  If you want to quit any of those things, you can live your whole life and with a lot of fight, grit, strength, prayer and determination and never do them again. 

Unfortunately with food, you have to eat.  It's like telling an addict you must have a little to survive each day but not too much everday.  It's really hard to control something you have to consume daily to survive.  It makes it weird and different than other addictions.  Such is life.

Frustrated

I'm a little frustrated, pissed really.  Do you ever just get cranky that you're not naturally skinny? you have to fight to lose every single ounce? That it's always such an epic battle?  That's how I feel today. I feel fat and frumpy and defeated.  I feel like all my calorie counting and working soooooooo hard to make good choice is for nothing.  A big fat nothing.  I've gained weight and I'm running more, I've started lifting weights and I'm changing the way I eat.  I actually have thoughts like "If you eat that you won't feel good about your choice so just leave it alone" PRIOR to eating it rather than eating it and regretting it.  Is it too much to ask to even maintain? Let alone throw me a few ounces of loss? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I'm done whining now.  I will keep plugging away.  I will keep reading blogs for inspiration. The ones I love to follow are:

Minus One Hundred http://www.minusonehundred.com/
Does This Scale Make Me Look Fat? http://www.doesthisscalemakemelookfat.blogspot.com/
Run This Weigh http://www.runthisweigh.blogspot.com/
111 Pounds http://www.111pounds.com/
Lealah on a Mission http://www.epitomedemoi.blogspot.com/

Happy tightee whitee Fridee!

Goals

One of the things I've noticed while reading other blogs of individuals who have lost and kept off weight or are in the process make a workout schedule/goal and work on it.  So that's what I shall do. 

It's Father's Day and I have the best daddy in the world and the best husband in the world.  I'm a lucky girl.

The middle children are visiting their father for a week and it's so quiet around here with just the 3 of us.  I didn't hardly do a thing today.  I did run.  It felt so good. 

I've been looking at Garmin running watches (I know that's not their real names but that's what I'm calling them) and FitBits.  The Garmins seem to be what all the "real" runners use but they're so darn expensive that I would have to wait FOR-EV-ER to get one plus it appears that it wouldn't track my calorie burning when I'm doing Group Power which is my weight lifting class.  The class is HARD and I earn every last calorie in there. I swear we do a million squats and lunges!  I love it, I feel strong and I know it's good for me.  But I want to know how many calories I'm using.  The FitBit is less expensive, more realistic right now, looks easier for me to use and counts my calories when I'm doing something other than running/walking/hiking.  I'm still pondering...

Baseball is over.  Volleyball is over.  The summer is here. 

Kind of a disjointed post but I'm tired and my thoughts are random right now.

Who would've thought?

Who would've thought the time committment to blog? I didn't realize it.  I have such a busy life but I didn't think twice thinking I could squeeze another thing in.  Turns out you bloggers put in a lot more time and effort than I ever gave you credit for...

Nonetheless, it's been of course a busy two weeks.  Volleyball games, baseball games, not to mention the corresponding practices and buying a house. And finding new childcare. Oh and work and a baby too.  The good news is that the kids are happy and healthy.  The boys had their last day of school yesterday and are now proud 3rd and 4th graders.  The girls' last day of school is today and will be 7th and 8th graders.  I'm really proud of them.  They all have their own struggles with school and fight through it. 

Even though I haven't blogged doesn't mean I haven't been reading the ones I've started following.  It's just a few because I just don't have the time.  I LOVE READING THEM!  I look forward to each new post.  It's motivational and inspiring and I've learned a lot.  What I've learned is this:

1. Losing weight is hard work and you have to take it moment by moment.
2. Don't quit.
3. Weigh and track everything.  In my reading, they weigh and track everything!!!
4. Don't give up.
5. Most of them have a workout schedule they follow and a goal of running so many miles per week or month,
6. Don't ever quit.
7. Most use Garmins or Fitbits to track their calories burned as well as distance/speed, etc when running.
8. Don't ever give up.
9. They have binges or splurges and get over it and get back to business.
10. Don't quit.
11. See #1.

I've been working hard at tracking my calories, except for I was horrible this weekend and had to get back on the bandwagon this week.  Luckily, some coworkers are doing the same thing so we can encourage eachother. 

My sis and I went to our first Group Power class yesterday.  It's like a weight lifting class or circuit training.  It was hard and I hurt today.  Which means I worked hard.  It hurt to lift my arms to wash my hair.  So I must have worked something hard.  My butt hurts too from about a million and eight lunges and squats.  Or it might have been a million and nine.  I can't remember :)

Safer at Work

I do better at work.  I sit at my little desk, eat what I have planned, ignore the candy dish up by my bosses.  At home, I can turn anything into a temptation.  Yesterday I improved my consumption of BLT's (bites, licks and tastes).  I will improve again today.  I spent time on my breaks reading some of the blogs that I follow.  I love them.  They inspire me.

I've changed my weigh in day to Friday.  I have my freebie meal on Friday or Saturday and want to have the week to get back to normal.

I'm taking my tennies to work to walk on my lunch hour.  The last time I did that, it was a train wreck.  Quick story, it was cloudy out but sunny and warm so I decided to get a nice, long walk in.  I left my office and walked 20 minutes and turned back around.  About 5 minutes into my walk back it began to rain.  Hard. Really hard.  I didn't have a coat, umbrella, nothing.  I started to run but since I was so far away it really didn't matter.  There was no cover and no end in sight.  Eventually I just gave up.  By the time I made it to the office, rain was pouring down my face, my shirt was soaked through, my jeans were wet.  I got to walk past the big wigs in a meeting and went straight to the bathroom to dry off.  I just kept thinking "What am I going to do?"  I finally gave up drying off with paper towels out of the bathroom dispenser and walked upstairs, praying I didn't get seen.  I slinked to my desk but I work with a loud bunch and all I heard over and over was "What happened to you? Are you cold? Are you ok? You didn't have a coat or umbrella?" My sister works in a different department.  She came over to look at me like an animal at the zoo and just started cracking up.  My boss is the same size as me and had workout clothes she let me change into.  The moral of the story is I get a little nervous walking on my lunch hour.  But it's supposed to be 75 out today so I'm praying it doesn't happen again. 

The baby's up so I'm off and running.  Have a great day!

The BLT's are killing me...

You know the BLT's...bites..licks..tastes...  That is what needs to get under control.  I do a great job during the day, especially when I'm at work.  When I'm at home I take a bite of Josh's cereal, a lick of the ice cream I dish up for the girls, a taste of the fried potatoes (cooked in oil and butter).  Those all add up to an enormous amount of calories that I wouldn't even begin to know how to calculate.  And the BLT's seem to end up on my hips and a$$. 

That's my goal this week.  To reduce those.  I would like to say eliminate.  Can I do that?  I feel like if eliminate is my goal then I will fail.  I feel like if reduce is my goal I will succeed.  And I need to feel successful.  I always feel like such a loser in weight loss.  I try one thing, it doesn't work.  I try another.  It doesn't work.  I've been trying diets since about the 5th grade in all honesty. 

I remember my first diet.  I was in the 5th grade, so about 10 yrs old.  I was a chubby girl.  It was a 7 day diet.  I don't remember all the details but I do remember one day you ate nothing but melon, one day bananas and skim milk, each day was a different food.  And so it began.  The search for diet success.  I remember trying the OHSU diet; I don't remember much about it but you ate a ridiculous amount of chicken for dinner and a can of tuna fish and carrots.  It was gross.  That didn't work either. 

I have to find what works for me, consuming fewer calories and exercise.  And those of us that struggle with weight loss are always looking for the solution.  So I don't know if I will ever post what I eat.  I always feel like I should copy to a T what a successful weight-loss person did and when I don't I'm a failure.  I don't want anyone reading this to ever feel like a failure. 

I Threw a Bagel Out the Car Window

I did.  I was dropping my girls off at youth group last night, one was eating an everything bagel, toasted, with REAL cream cheese.  She didn't finish it all and left it on the front seat.  Next to me.  I took one bite.  It tasted amazing.  But I hadn't allotted for eating it.  And it stared at me and mocked me and tempted me so I grabbed the darn thing and before I knew it, I chucked it out the car window.  Can't believe it I did it. 

But sometimes temptations, carbs, chocolate, sweets, chips, etc are too much for an overeater like me and I have to get away from it ASAP.  I don't condone littering and I comfort myself knowing that some birds had a tasty snack.

I'm off to an early 7am meeting. But I had to confess.  I guess those of us that struggle with food have to do that sometimes, chuck the temptation out the window to succeed.  And that's ok.  You don't see alcoholics with a bottle of beer in their bag, smokers with cigarettes in their breast pocket.  We gotta do what we gotta do since the temptation is all around us.

Now I'm off!  Peace out!

A few days later

Gooooooood morning!  I have totally crazy busy weekends so I don't know that I will be able to blog then.  With the children's activities and my mom duties it's pretty insane on the weekends.  Honestly, when I sit down to work on Monday morning, I'm thankful for the rest.  But it was a fun weekend.  My favorite aunt was here, the boys both had baseball games, Emma had a volleyball game and it was sunny and beautiful. 

Friday and Saturday I ate like I had planned.  Saturday night was my freebie dinner.  My husband and I went to one of our favorite local Mexican food restaurants and had dinner.  It tasted SO GOOD!  Because I've been eating smaller portions, I just couldn't eat as much but every bite tasted good.  The baby was funny because whenever she would hear a fast Mexican song play she would start dancing in her high chair while she was eating.  It was so nice to spend some time with my husband. 

Sunday I wanted to take my measurements.  The last time I did that the baby kept taking the tape measure and playing with it so I put it someplace where she couldn't get and I wouldn't forget.  Only I forgot.  Can't find the dumb thing anywhere. I have looked and looked.  Epic fail.  I'm about ready to go to the store and buy one except I know as soon as I do I will find the one I put someplace special.  Such a dork.

Monday started out as a good food choice day and as the day went buy I nosedived. I got up and worked out which felt good.  I had taken time off since I was sick.  I read the Runs for Cookies blog about her running a marathon and I'm so inspired to keep running.  I'm as slow and graceful as a geriatric hippo.  But someday I will be that shapely, muscle-y girl running on the side of the road, booking along.  I don't know what happened yesterday except I'm glad the day is over and it's Tuesday and I can start fresh.  I will start fresh.  It's a new day. I am woman, hear me roar :)

Those darn pot stickers...

Yesterday I was tripped up in my eating because of tasty, salty, yummy pot stickers.  Everything was going smoothly till then.  I should have walked away.  Instead of eating the 2 I had portioned out, I popped 3 extra in my mouth and then felt guilty because I knew I could have done better.  The only person I hurt was myself.  And it was stupid and I was frustrated with myself.  So today is a new day!  It's funny how eating better makes you crave better food.  The apple I just ate was life-changing!  Like my husband always says, life's about choices.  I choose to do better today. 

And here's a pic of me with my hubby at the my company Christmas party 6 months ago.  I look the same, just my hairs are a lil longer..

Why, why, why?

Why do I want to get healthy, lose weight and exercise?

1.  To feel strong.
2.  To be a runner.  When I run I feel invincible.
3.  To keep up with my kids.
4.  To wear cute clothes in the regular shopping department, not the plus size.
5.  To live longer to be with my husband and kids.
6.  To be a hot momma for myself and my husband.
7.  To be that girl on the sidewalk running like the ones I always see.
8.  I makes me feel good, strong, powerful, unstoppable, invincible, healthy, energetic, amazing.

Happy Winky Wednesday...go wink at someone and smile!

3 Horse Pills Later...

After a long appointment with the doctor yesterday, Josh was diagnosed with a lung infection, the baby has a cold and I have an upper respiratory infection.  No wonder I felt terrible.  No wonder Josh has been coughing like a smoker.  Poor baby. We stayed at home and it was nice to be with my babies.  And don't tell my husband, but we took a quick trip to Old Navy.  I had gotten money from my momma and daddy for Mother's Day and I picked up a few clearance t-shirts.

By the end of the evening, I was exhausted and I hadn't really done anything.  I ate ok, on a scale of 1-10 I would give myself an 8.  My biggest downfall are the nibbles throughout the day.  A bite of my daughter's chocolate chip granola bar, a bite of Sam's frosted flakes (I love frosted flakes, they're like crack to me, I can't have just one bowl).  But that all adds up at the end of the day.  That's something I know I need to make an improvement on.  That would cut out a LOT of additional calories of junk that I'm not purposefully eating.  It's a habit, a BAD habit.

I didn't work out this morning, decided I needed to sleep and rest. I'm going to work today so I can walk on my breaks OUT IN THE SUN YAY! And three horse pills later I'm finally starting to feel better again.  Peace out!

Sidebar...I will get a before pic loaded this weekend.  Blech, not looking forward to that. 

Day 1- Left without a blinker

So this morning I was going to weigh in and workout.  Instead I woke up feeling like toilet paper.  My 10 yr old Josh coughed all night and the baby is sick also.  Today went left without a blinker.  And yet, I get to stay home my babies, something I rarely get to do as a working mom.  And we all have a hot date with the doctor this afternoon.  I will eat well and more than likely will not workout today.  But that's ok.  Such is the life of a working mom of a passel of kids.  I have to be flexible.

And today's weigh in, blech.  I didn't even want to post what I weight because if I did then it would be real.  On the other hand, it's my starting weight.  It's also the last time I will ever weigh that again.  I will prevail.  I will survive.  I will win.  For me.

My Last Supper

I'm Melissa.  I'm a mom.  But I'm a chubby, fat mom.  And I want to be a hot, strong, sexy, running mom.  And so it begins.  My sis Gretchen and I are changing everything tomorrow.  And I'm excited.  And nervous.  I've been on a diet since about 1982.  No joke. And since I was born in 1972, that means I have been on a diet, on the wagon, falling off the wagon, over and over for 29 years.  And where did it get me?  FAT.  Unhealthy.  A size 22-24.  Blech. 

But no more.

A little about me.  I have 7 kids.  That's not a typo.  My husband, Big Daddy, had two children from his previous marriage.  I had four children from my previous marriage.  Then surprise!  We have our little sassy-pants.  We call them the bigs, the middles and the little. Only the youngest 5 live with us.  Rocky, Lily, Emma, Faith, Josh, Sam and Josie.  They are my world.  I love being a mom.  I love driving around in my giant ol' 1989 Suburban, who we lovingly call Suzy Silverado, and drive them around to their various activities.  Most of our time revolves around the sports they're currently participating in.  This spring it's baseball and volleyball.  In the fall it's football and volleyball.  And I love every minute of it.

I work full-time for a local insurance company and I love my job.  I'm very lucky that I can say that I love my work family and have great bosses.  My husband is a self-employed landscaper.  This is his busy time of year.  He takes good care of us and only knows me as a chubby girl and loves me the way I am.

Tomorrow is the beginning.
                 
       I feel like I need a theme song.

                         "Livin on  a Prayer" by Bon Jovi always worked for me.