Safer at Work

I do better at work.  I sit at my little desk, eat what I have planned, ignore the candy dish up by my bosses.  At home, I can turn anything into a temptation.  Yesterday I improved my consumption of BLT's (bites, licks and tastes).  I will improve again today.  I spent time on my breaks reading some of the blogs that I follow.  I love them.  They inspire me.

I've changed my weigh in day to Friday.  I have my freebie meal on Friday or Saturday and want to have the week to get back to normal.

I'm taking my tennies to work to walk on my lunch hour.  The last time I did that, it was a train wreck.  Quick story, it was cloudy out but sunny and warm so I decided to get a nice, long walk in.  I left my office and walked 20 minutes and turned back around.  About 5 minutes into my walk back it began to rain.  Hard. Really hard.  I didn't have a coat, umbrella, nothing.  I started to run but since I was so far away it really didn't matter.  There was no cover and no end in sight.  Eventually I just gave up.  By the time I made it to the office, rain was pouring down my face, my shirt was soaked through, my jeans were wet.  I got to walk past the big wigs in a meeting and went straight to the bathroom to dry off.  I just kept thinking "What am I going to do?"  I finally gave up drying off with paper towels out of the bathroom dispenser and walked upstairs, praying I didn't get seen.  I slinked to my desk but I work with a loud bunch and all I heard over and over was "What happened to you? Are you cold? Are you ok? You didn't have a coat or umbrella?" My sister works in a different department.  She came over to look at me like an animal at the zoo and just started cracking up.  My boss is the same size as me and had workout clothes she let me change into.  The moral of the story is I get a little nervous walking on my lunch hour.  But it's supposed to be 75 out today so I'm praying it doesn't happen again. 

The baby's up so I'm off and running.  Have a great day!

The BLT's are killing me...

You know the BLT's...bites..licks..tastes...  That is what needs to get under control.  I do a great job during the day, especially when I'm at work.  When I'm at home I take a bite of Josh's cereal, a lick of the ice cream I dish up for the girls, a taste of the fried potatoes (cooked in oil and butter).  Those all add up to an enormous amount of calories that I wouldn't even begin to know how to calculate.  And the BLT's seem to end up on my hips and a$$. 

That's my goal this week.  To reduce those.  I would like to say eliminate.  Can I do that?  I feel like if eliminate is my goal then I will fail.  I feel like if reduce is my goal I will succeed.  And I need to feel successful.  I always feel like such a loser in weight loss.  I try one thing, it doesn't work.  I try another.  It doesn't work.  I've been trying diets since about the 5th grade in all honesty. 

I remember my first diet.  I was in the 5th grade, so about 10 yrs old.  I was a chubby girl.  It was a 7 day diet.  I don't remember all the details but I do remember one day you ate nothing but melon, one day bananas and skim milk, each day was a different food.  And so it began.  The search for diet success.  I remember trying the OHSU diet; I don't remember much about it but you ate a ridiculous amount of chicken for dinner and a can of tuna fish and carrots.  It was gross.  That didn't work either. 

I have to find what works for me, consuming fewer calories and exercise.  And those of us that struggle with weight loss are always looking for the solution.  So I don't know if I will ever post what I eat.  I always feel like I should copy to a T what a successful weight-loss person did and when I don't I'm a failure.  I don't want anyone reading this to ever feel like a failure. 

I Threw a Bagel Out the Car Window

I did.  I was dropping my girls off at youth group last night, one was eating an everything bagel, toasted, with REAL cream cheese.  She didn't finish it all and left it on the front seat.  Next to me.  I took one bite.  It tasted amazing.  But I hadn't allotted for eating it.  And it stared at me and mocked me and tempted me so I grabbed the darn thing and before I knew it, I chucked it out the car window.  Can't believe it I did it. 

But sometimes temptations, carbs, chocolate, sweets, chips, etc are too much for an overeater like me and I have to get away from it ASAP.  I don't condone littering and I comfort myself knowing that some birds had a tasty snack.

I'm off to an early 7am meeting. But I had to confess.  I guess those of us that struggle with food have to do that sometimes, chuck the temptation out the window to succeed.  And that's ok.  You don't see alcoholics with a bottle of beer in their bag, smokers with cigarettes in their breast pocket.  We gotta do what we gotta do since the temptation is all around us.

Now I'm off!  Peace out!

A few days later

Gooooooood morning!  I have totally crazy busy weekends so I don't know that I will be able to blog then.  With the children's activities and my mom duties it's pretty insane on the weekends.  Honestly, when I sit down to work on Monday morning, I'm thankful for the rest.  But it was a fun weekend.  My favorite aunt was here, the boys both had baseball games, Emma had a volleyball game and it was sunny and beautiful. 

Friday and Saturday I ate like I had planned.  Saturday night was my freebie dinner.  My husband and I went to one of our favorite local Mexican food restaurants and had dinner.  It tasted SO GOOD!  Because I've been eating smaller portions, I just couldn't eat as much but every bite tasted good.  The baby was funny because whenever she would hear a fast Mexican song play she would start dancing in her high chair while she was eating.  It was so nice to spend some time with my husband. 

Sunday I wanted to take my measurements.  The last time I did that the baby kept taking the tape measure and playing with it so I put it someplace where she couldn't get and I wouldn't forget.  Only I forgot.  Can't find the dumb thing anywhere. I have looked and looked.  Epic fail.  I'm about ready to go to the store and buy one except I know as soon as I do I will find the one I put someplace special.  Such a dork.

Monday started out as a good food choice day and as the day went buy I nosedived. I got up and worked out which felt good.  I had taken time off since I was sick.  I read the Runs for Cookies blog about her running a marathon and I'm so inspired to keep running.  I'm as slow and graceful as a geriatric hippo.  But someday I will be that shapely, muscle-y girl running on the side of the road, booking along.  I don't know what happened yesterday except I'm glad the day is over and it's Tuesday and I can start fresh.  I will start fresh.  It's a new day. I am woman, hear me roar :)

Those darn pot stickers...

Yesterday I was tripped up in my eating because of tasty, salty, yummy pot stickers.  Everything was going smoothly till then.  I should have walked away.  Instead of eating the 2 I had portioned out, I popped 3 extra in my mouth and then felt guilty because I knew I could have done better.  The only person I hurt was myself.  And it was stupid and I was frustrated with myself.  So today is a new day!  It's funny how eating better makes you crave better food.  The apple I just ate was life-changing!  Like my husband always says, life's about choices.  I choose to do better today. 

And here's a pic of me with my hubby at the my company Christmas party 6 months ago.  I look the same, just my hairs are a lil longer..

Why, why, why?

Why do I want to get healthy, lose weight and exercise?

1.  To feel strong.
2.  To be a runner.  When I run I feel invincible.
3.  To keep up with my kids.
4.  To wear cute clothes in the regular shopping department, not the plus size.
5.  To live longer to be with my husband and kids.
6.  To be a hot momma for myself and my husband.
7.  To be that girl on the sidewalk running like the ones I always see.
8.  I makes me feel good, strong, powerful, unstoppable, invincible, healthy, energetic, amazing.

Happy Winky Wednesday...go wink at someone and smile!

3 Horse Pills Later...

After a long appointment with the doctor yesterday, Josh was diagnosed with a lung infection, the baby has a cold and I have an upper respiratory infection.  No wonder I felt terrible.  No wonder Josh has been coughing like a smoker.  Poor baby. We stayed at home and it was nice to be with my babies.  And don't tell my husband, but we took a quick trip to Old Navy.  I had gotten money from my momma and daddy for Mother's Day and I picked up a few clearance t-shirts.

By the end of the evening, I was exhausted and I hadn't really done anything.  I ate ok, on a scale of 1-10 I would give myself an 8.  My biggest downfall are the nibbles throughout the day.  A bite of my daughter's chocolate chip granola bar, a bite of Sam's frosted flakes (I love frosted flakes, they're like crack to me, I can't have just one bowl).  But that all adds up at the end of the day.  That's something I know I need to make an improvement on.  That would cut out a LOT of additional calories of junk that I'm not purposefully eating.  It's a habit, a BAD habit.

I didn't work out this morning, decided I needed to sleep and rest. I'm going to work today so I can walk on my breaks OUT IN THE SUN YAY! And three horse pills later I'm finally starting to feel better again.  Peace out!

Sidebar...I will get a before pic loaded this weekend.  Blech, not looking forward to that. 

Day 1- Left without a blinker

So this morning I was going to weigh in and workout.  Instead I woke up feeling like toilet paper.  My 10 yr old Josh coughed all night and the baby is sick also.  Today went left without a blinker.  And yet, I get to stay home my babies, something I rarely get to do as a working mom.  And we all have a hot date with the doctor this afternoon.  I will eat well and more than likely will not workout today.  But that's ok.  Such is the life of a working mom of a passel of kids.  I have to be flexible.

And today's weigh in, blech.  I didn't even want to post what I weight because if I did then it would be real.  On the other hand, it's my starting weight.  It's also the last time I will ever weigh that again.  I will prevail.  I will survive.  I will win.  For me.

My Last Supper

I'm Melissa.  I'm a mom.  But I'm a chubby, fat mom.  And I want to be a hot, strong, sexy, running mom.  And so it begins.  My sis Gretchen and I are changing everything tomorrow.  And I'm excited.  And nervous.  I've been on a diet since about 1982.  No joke. And since I was born in 1972, that means I have been on a diet, on the wagon, falling off the wagon, over and over for 29 years.  And where did it get me?  FAT.  Unhealthy.  A size 22-24.  Blech. 

But no more.

A little about me.  I have 7 kids.  That's not a typo.  My husband, Big Daddy, had two children from his previous marriage.  I had four children from my previous marriage.  Then surprise!  We have our little sassy-pants.  We call them the bigs, the middles and the little. Only the youngest 5 live with us.  Rocky, Lily, Emma, Faith, Josh, Sam and Josie.  They are my world.  I love being a mom.  I love driving around in my giant ol' 1989 Suburban, who we lovingly call Suzy Silverado, and drive them around to their various activities.  Most of our time revolves around the sports they're currently participating in.  This spring it's baseball and volleyball.  In the fall it's football and volleyball.  And I love every minute of it.

I work full-time for a local insurance company and I love my job.  I'm very lucky that I can say that I love my work family and have great bosses.  My husband is a self-employed landscaper.  This is his busy time of year.  He takes good care of us and only knows me as a chubby girl and loves me the way I am.

Tomorrow is the beginning.
                 
       I feel like I need a theme song.

                         "Livin on  a Prayer" by Bon Jovi always worked for me.